Is it EASY to Do Business With You?

"I'm the #!$%# easiest person to manage!" the man angrily declared. Though I didn't say anything, I thought to myself: If this person could only hear himself talk. How truly blinded and how revealing it is to hear someone declare their own greatness -- as if saying it louder somehow makes it real.

The reality was that nothing could be farther from the truth. This guy was tough to work with and out of fear of reprisal, people felt constantly obligated to ingratitiate themselves to him. Spending time with him always included eye rolls as people shuffled through knowing that it was their turn to sit and listen to this person talk about himself.

The result: Trust levels and business results were compromised. Interesting isn't it?

So, let me ask you:

• Is it easy to do business with you?
• How do you come across to your colleagues, family, and friends?
• Are you blinded by your own greatness?

Time to Think Differently About Performance Management

Is behavior influenced by the treatment given? If so, do the standard operating procedures help or hinder performance? Does a manager's compliment or sarcasm impact an employee? If people are trusted do they respond in kind? If the boss is insecure and fearful of how they are perceived will it impact their ability? Do we really manage performance or the conversations that influence performance?

While the answers to these questions may seem obvious, I challenge you to consider the underlying principle: People will measure up to the expectations given them (Ex: If we don't trust people, they won't be trustworthy in our minds regardless of actual performance).

New rules, stricter policies, punitive threats, and stronger punishments all get created to curb bad behavior. Rules are created only when we can’t trust people to do the right thing on their own, but in creating the rule we simply communicate another form of mistrust. So, why are we surprised when all we get is more of the same bad behavior?

Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the role that social norms and rules play every time I stop at a red light. However, I think we can go overboard and we trick ourselves into thinking that in creating more processes, approvals, and procedures somehow things will get better.

It is time to think differently about performance management. Raise expectations and performance by reducing the bureaucracy. Give people the space to perform and trust that they can do it well. Follow-up with compliments and praise when the job is accomplished, and your employees will begin to feel new hope and meaning for the work that they do.

Above all: Treat people with respect and they will respond in kind.

Being Present & Abundance Mentality

Spunky, curious, strong, resilient, and smart all contained in a little 23 lb. 2 & 1/2 year old body. We didn't know what to expect when we traveled to China earlier this year to pick up our daughter from an orphanage in Hunan Province. We had no idea AnLi would be so full of spirit and life. Of course, she wasn't at first. Understandably, she started very reserved and scared as she took in her new environment.

Eating has been one of the biggest challenges as she easily becomes distracted with so many options. Based on experience, we only place one item in front of her at a time, but she is so worried about what is coming next that she fails to enjoy what she has in front of her. AnLi's eyes scan the oven, the counter, and whatever else that comes out of the refrigerator and her concerned face says it all.

Have you ever been like that? Have you ever worried so much about tomorrow that you cannot enjoy today? Have you ever been so distracted by something out of reach that you fail to see the good things that are right in front of you? Have you ever viewed others as a threat rather than an asset?

If you were to appreciate one good thing in your life right now, what would it be? How can you learn to enjoy it more? Would you be happier enjoying the good things in your life? It all starts by recognizing your current mindset. Are you viewing things (and people) with an abundance mentality?

The good news is that it is possible. AnLi now knows that she will always have plenty of food to eat. As a result, she enjoys what she has in front of her, and of course she excitedly looks forward to what is coming next too.

How can you be more present and maintain an abundance mentality?

Employee Engagement Defined

Engagement. Engagement. Engagement. Nowadays, it is an employer's "Holy Grail" to profitability. Yet what exactly does it mean?

While there are many definitions, few are as concise or as simple as the one I recently received from a friend that described it this way:

“Employee engagement is when the business values the employee and the employee
values the business."

It seems so simple doesn't it? So, why is it so hard to achieve? Is this elusive management "must have" doomed to follow fads of the past?

Before you think this is going away, I encourage you to check out one of the fastest growing on-line communities on the subject: http://employeeengagement.ning.com/ (Note: I have no personal interest in the site, but I find it to be very informative and useful).

Let me know what you think.

It's Time to Breathe and Serve

In 2004, I was a facilitator at the Parliament of World Religions Conference in Montserrat, Spain. During the sessions, people began to share some of their painful life experiences and we all felt a collective stress. A stress that seemed to stop progress.

As I stood up to speak, I invited everyone to recognize what we were each feeling. Immediately, people realized that we were all experiencing the same thing and this common understanding instantly created a new feeling of peace in the room. I challenged everyone to consider one commitment they could make to serve the community assembly. It was a "collective breath" that enabled us to shift our focus from ourselves towards others and we were able to move forward. Afterwards, the graphic artist that recorded the session showed me how she captured my presentation (see the image above).

Now, it seems as though a global stress has stopped progress. We all struggle with our own real challenges and we hope that we can survive the economic crisis. The problem: We think we are all alone -- that somehow, we must go through all of this by ourselves. This isolation and stress combines to stop our progress.

May I suggest that it is time to take a collective breath? More importantly, if we are to get back on track, we must start to think how we can be of service to others and realize we are all in this together. What can you do to get things going again? Who can you serve today?

Happiness NOT Allowed

In uncertain and stressful times like we are experiencing now, it is easy to be discouraged. The news floods us with crisis after crisis (never explaining how we seem to survive each news cycle of new problems). Unfortunately, this daily grind of bad news, fear mongering, and crisis creating has made people scared and angry.

Lashing out at others seems to have become the prescription de jour. While it is a fleeting way to feeling better, people don't know what else to do. So, the anger, accusations, lashing out, and fear go around and around in a cynical cycle all the while people desperately hope to find some happiness.

Just this last week the Social Security Administration had a conference and training for 600+ of their employees. The media lashed out at them for frivilous spending and people jumped on the band wagon shaking their fingers madly at the ghastly administration that would dare have a conference. Isn't it interesting that it is hard to be happy for others when we feel down ourselves? Even more interesting I find is that we often try to pull them back down to where we are in misery rather than trying to lift others up.

In this down economy is happiness NOT allowed? Why have we allowed anger and fear to consume us? Why do we frown when others succeed? Why can't we be happy that the Social Security Administration is trying to build the morale and skills of their workforce? Why must we be mad because they had fun in the process?

One more example from this week: Another government agency recently posted (and then retracted the posting) for speakers on humor in the workplace. They wanted someone to show their employees the value of being happy, but once the Congress heard about it, they retracted the request. Apparently, even Congress gets jealous if someone else is trying to find happiness. Of course, the criticism is surrounded by excuses and it justifies the anger even further.

I challenge us all to rethink where we are headed. Instead of making anger and fear the status quo, let's change the dialogue and create the happiness we all desperately seek. Instead of tearing others down, let's build them up.

Happiness NOT Allowed? Since when was that such a good idea?

To Recognize Means to "See Again"

To "see again" is to reframe and understand something that you may have seen before but not understood. To recognize gives us a second chance to see it again. Oftentimes, giving us the opportunity to see something we missed, or to appreciate all over, or to be reminded of those things that are most important.

While flying home from a presentation last week, I was reminded of those things that are most important -- again. And, as usual, it took someone else to remind me when I least expected it. It all started when I found myself sitting next to a young Navy Sailor and he was obviously upset. I didn't say anything as we sat down, but about an hour into the flight he started to talk.

"It just doesn't make any sense," he said, "he shouldn't have died."

[Pause]

He continued, "I'm escorting my friend home today."

I immediately realized that the coffin that was loaded on the plane in Detroit was this young man's fallen friend -- a fellow Sailor.

I listened for a while and then I thanked him for working hard to serve honorably as he and his fellow Sailors all accepted the risks and possibly the ultimate sacrifice that seems to come all too frequently.

When we landed in Salt Lake City late that night, the pilot announced that he would like to show proper respect by asking us to all wait while the body of the fallen soldier was unloaded under the watchful eye of his friend. We all sat in reverance and silence as the coffin was gently loaded onto a cart that was draped with an American Flag.

I went home with gratitude in my heart that I could hug my family.

Here is to the family and friends of the fallen Sailor . . .

When has recognition provided an opportunity for you to "see again?"